pickuplines

smi, 26. Juli 2002 um 21:35:16 MESZ

pickuplines

wie jeder spätestens seit den ersten misslungenen versuchen schmerzhaft erfahren musste, ist eine gute pickupline ungefähr so selten, wie ein toffifee problemlos aus der packung geht. das internet bietet hier hilfe für alle leidgeplagten (trotz aller emanzipation leider noch immer häufiger männer), leider sind nicht alle wirklich brauchbar. manche sind schlichtweg plump und absolut nervtötend. deshalb also abhilfe. nicht das sie irgendeiner der geschätzten leser nötig hätte...

hier also meine ganz persönliche hitliste:

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?
Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, "I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is."
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.
Hey, you want to go out for pizza and some sex? What, you don't like pizza?
I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
"I heard milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?"
Get your coat girl, you've scored!
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. 'Yes' is the answer.
Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?
One of us is thinking about sex... Okay, it's me.
If I were God, all of my angels would look like you!
Should I break it to your friend that she's going home alone?
Are you wearing lipstick? Well, mind if I taste it?
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I drive by again?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'u' and 'i' closer together.
Can I have a picture? ......So I can show Santa EXACTLY what I want for Christmas.
Hey, do you know what winks and makes love like a tiger? *WINK*
Stick with me baby and I'll buy you rocks as big as diamonds.
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make your bed rock!
"How bout you, me, and privacy?"
A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

der letzte satz fällt irgendwie in die kategorie "generelle lebensweisheiten", passt aber doch irgendwie hinein. die frage ist allerdings ob nice guys das auch so sagen würden. wahrscheinlich nicht. vielleicht ist das auch was für manche im sexblog. ganz interessante geschichten spielen sich da in letzter zeit ab, tiefe einblicke in bisher ungeahnte gedankenwelten.

don't forget: comments appreciated.

update: sierra liefert eine willkommene ergänzung in sachen pickuplines:

"Sag tun dir nicht die Füsse weh Kleines?" Warum? "Naja, du bist mir heut den ganzen Tag durch den Kopf gegangen...."

sehr nett.

¶ und wieder einmal ein beweis dafür wie seltsam mtv ist. heute morgen zum aufwachen ein bisschen geguckt, dann lief "fat joe feat. ashanti - what's luv". nette nummer. als das lied zur folgenden stelle kommt:

But what's love Gotta do with a little menage

haben die von mtv doch glatt "menage" zensiert. einfach rausgeschnitten. dabei ist menage doch gar nicht so schlimm, oder? verglichen mit d12 oder eminem ist das eigentlich mehr als jugendfrei. hier ein kleiner auszug aus "d12 - i'll shit on you":

I'm a alcoholic, with the fuckin toilet Pass the hotdogs (Bizarre aren't you Islamic?) Bitch shut your fuckin mouth I'ma keep eatin 'til Richard Simmons comes to my house with a chain saw to cut me out (me out, me out!) I'll fuck your wife, I had sex since I met her Too busy fuckin wit {your twelve year old} baby sitter (hahaha) And all women ain't shit - only good for cookin, cleanin and sucking dick and thats it (I said it)

würde man hier zu zensieren beginnen, bliebe kaum etwas vom text übrig. sometimes i hate mtv. right now i do.

¶ i just realised, other peoples do hate mtv as well:

10 things i hate about mtv

#1 The main problem : MTV stands for music television. Hang on, if that's true then HOW COME THEY NEVER PLAY ANY MUSIC? I mean, you get more music during the (numerous) advert breaks than during the music programs!

#2 The music : Having said that, when they do play "music", it's not music, it's crap! But then Madonna called her latest album Music, which is definitely not the term I would use to describe it... MTV defenders, please take note : I am not saying that mtv NEVER play any good music. It's true, if you're having a particularly lucky day you might just catch a good song. But the vast majority of songs are pop rubbish. So there.

#3 The brainless VJs : When MTV have found a "hit" they play the video up to 15 times a day (that's a fact)... by doing that they destroy all songs which were any good. As for the songs which were awful initially, they just become unbearable.

#4 Those stupid little jingles : You know, those little like adverts for MTV they play the whole time. Tell me, what is the point of an ad for MTV when you're watching MTV? Talk about brainwashing.

#5 The European Top 20 : The Dance floor chart is bad enough, but have you ever heard a chart worse than the European? It almost makes me embarrassed to be European.

#6 MTV Select : Possibly the most frustrating thing : watching people dedicate Backstreet Boy songs to their friends when they could be asking for Deftones. sigh what is the world coming to?

#7 The News : Honestly, who cares?

#8 The theme weekends : to name a few : the Michael Jackson Weekend, the Madonna Weekend, The 'So 80's' Weekend... and I thought the weekend was something you were supposed to look forward to. I must be mistaken.

#9 The adverts : They always show the same three adverts again & again & again & again & again & again & again & again & again ....

#10 The political correctness : The policy is "No swear words" even if it means leaving big blanks in the middle of songs. But that's ok, because the music isn't what's important after all, is it? Same for references to drugs. Take warning kids : drugs & swearing are baaaaaaaad.

¶ besonders empfehlenswert auch die anleitung how to be a popstar.

Entirely Optional are :

the ability to sing. Your voice will be electronically modified if necessary, and you will never be forced to actually sing live (if questioned on this topic, reply that your elaborate dance routine makes it impossible to sing during performances)
the ability to play an instrument : just keep dancing,
having an interesting personality : It is easy to make up for this. Dress following a precise style (think Spice Girls). Be outgoing, extravagant, loud. Any form of intelligence is superfluous, but if you are female and wish to appear politically involved, be a feminist (Continue nonetheless to dress like a slut).
being in touch with the real world : please take note : this is unnecessary and can sometimes prove embarrassing, as it was for Mariah when she uttered the following statement "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.". Admit it : you may be considered beautiful but that doesn't change the simple fact that you are stupid so SHUT UP.

menu designs are so boring. right.